心变成灰

BLACK AND WHITE

* Hidden Secret *

[ 我从来都不说不 ]

[ 不是因为我愿意 ]

[ 而是因为我爱你 ]

[ 我从来都不生气 ]

[ 不是因为我没有脾气 ]

[ 是因为我爱你 ]

[ 我从来都不哭 ]

[ 不是因为我没有眼泪 ]

[ 是因为我爱你 ]

[Monday, March 31, 2008]"1:46 PM

this morning when the moment i wake up,saw a msg..feel some thing is not right..what it say is completely not what it does..what i did or what i done is not what it come and say..what i have done the most for her and the way i treat her i din regret..i will give more what i can give,i try my best to do the best..i din say any word or blame others..in the end what it come is a different story..i really love her too much,if she wanna go,i will let it go..i will not do any thing else..i will bless her all the way to get happiness and xin fu..i will not do any thing more to hurt her and just wish her luck..

why all the excuse is the same and not others..people will change and it's really change..it's really din take time to change just a blink and everything just change..the hurt and pain i carry on just not to give her pressure and let her feel xin fu..all the sad,pain,hurt and unhappiness i will carry on my back..i don't feel what i did is for nothing and i din regret it..now the pain i carry is very very very heavy..it hurt alot..but i still have to carry it along..i will not let any one to carry for me and i will not rest..i will carry it all the way..i will not give up..

time say short not that short,say long and not that long..what we have go through and this is it..no one will understand it and know what we did before..only both of us know what going on..we had share sadness,painful,unhappiness,lonelyness,happy and every great momment..all this thing every sec in my mind and i won't delete it all away,i will still remember the happy and great moment we had..that how we build up relationship..i believe we did our part to do each and every thing..no one will come into it to disturb..

we go through all this though road..why still have to end it this way..there really no other way that can chose..what we go through,is it a waste..is it the end of our jourey..i really have no idea what going to be next..jourey has reach the pit stop and it can't move..sad thing is that we can't really reach the last stop..so disappointed and sad..that the best it can go and not futher more..since you have ask for a stop,nothing can make it move..i don't wish to give up but i have no other choice..if you wanna stop it let call it a shot,no others word or comment from me..if you really can't handle this kind of stuff and pain,so let end it this way..

why life have all kind of thing going on..why human must have feeling..don't have feeling is it the best..got feeling make thing worst..stress,pressure,sad,disappointed,pain,hurt,happy,unhappy and this all kind of feeling in a life time you will feel it..it just the matter how serious you get it..i get all this feeling and get it on a hard way..hard way till i can't even express it out..in my life i get all the thing in suey way..play majong get shit card and can't even win,do what ever thing,thing can't go smoonthly,like a girl and can't win her heart..feel that this is not my life and is a tourture..really can't take it any more..

it's time to rest,i feel so tired and sick of it..let me have some rest..i really try my best..what already been done has been done..no matter how you cover the hole is still just a hole..feel that wasted alot alot alot of years in this kind of thing..wanted to sleep and can't fall asleep,my eye just can't close it..wanted a peace time and it come so suddenly..when peace time come and just don't want to rest..so after thinking and thinking,maybe is a good thing and bad thing..got good and bad point in this way..i really can't think of any idea to continue..brain shut down,heart stop beating,blood stop flowing,eye can't open and body can't move anymore..

life is like that..when schooling you want to work,when working want to school..when you wanted the thing in the end it come but you still think the old want is better..mind over body or body over mind..i find human got this kind of thing happening,if you are not human of coz don't have that..haiz say so much also pointless..i think have to end it here,too long le..feel so tired..just let me rest in peace..bye guyz

~ 倒迟一游 ~